So yeah, there's that.

It’s like prison, but at least in prison the food is free.

I’m trying to find a way to get out of here, this is ridiculous that I’m working 32 hours a week and am not allowed to do anything when I get home. I understand that they think I’m going to go out and party, maybe sleep with some guys and go cause mischief, but I honestly don’t want to do any of that. I just want to get off work and go home to my own place, to be where my friends are and be able to leave at 2am to get taco bell or something. I’m really not a bad kid.. I just wish they could comprehend that..

Lol, fuck my life..

What does it mean..?

I never really dream, but when I do its always really weird…

My most current dream went something like this:

I was in this mall that shows up a lot in my dreams, and I was with my broski, we decided to go through the service doors to get to my car for some reason, and there was an elevator, so we took it. But the elevator just kept going and going, and then it stopped, and suddenly it was like we were falling faster and faster and it somehow turned into a twisty side which ended us on a weird creepy playground, like the ones that have the woodchips and the walking thing above them. The playground was really eerie so we tried to climb back up the slide, but then this creepy man with a beard started to slide down, and I don’t know why but he seemed like he was evil, so we ran onto the playground, but there were flying pigs there that I’m guessing were his minions or something? For some reason we started to try and collect these five keys on rings with bells attatched to them, and the man was chasing me and the pigs were trying to make me fall off of the thing…

That’s when I woke up.. I don’t know why but I felt the need to share this odd dream of mine, it freaked me out a bit..

I’m tired of smiling and being strong… I want to punch things and scream and curse and cry and just give up…

But I won’t… because I can’t…

I hate when I get so depressed that I don’t even feel like answering your calls.. I think I’m going to go take a nap..

109.2 ugh.

Hey brain, fuck you, I don’t like this feeling that I’m not good enough..
I hate the fact that you make me despise food and make me so damn conscious of my weight.
I hate that I can’t help but hate myself because you like to point out the little bit of fat that I have and make it seem so much bigger.
I hate not being able to believe people when they say I look tiny or cute because of you.
I hate how I love the feeling of an empty stomach and not eating.
I hate the fact that you make me feel huge when I know I’m not, but I can never truly convince myself..
I hate this… Im tired of pretending I don’t have a problem, I need help…

You have the right to remain silent..

So my friend got arrested today, no big deal, and my other friend has a warrant out for his arrest, also no big deal.

That’s when I realized, my friends and I have all been arrested at one point or another. And I know it should be a big deal, because being arrested is bad. The cops know us by name and we know what to do, but we don’t care, because its not our fault nothing fun is legal.

But to all of you out there, don’t be like us, stay clean, because being arrested isn’t that much fun.

Oh hey there smile,

Its been a while.

Why haven’t you been around?

I’ve missed your sound,

Those little bells,

They saved me from Hell..

I’m finally done with that shit,

So will you hang for a bit?

I hope you’re here to stay.

Don’t go away.

Please, don’t go away..

107.3

This Is Who I’m Meant To Be.

Hope everyone’s ready for this, because I’m about to make some changes. :)